Thats me and mine!

this is a picture of my son and I. It as taken for our first Christmas in Turkey 06! Now that was a great day. My son loves to dig (thats his stress relief!) so when it got too much off he would hop from our meal and dig on the beach with other children.

He's a great kid and helps me be grounded.

Aspergers helpful book

Well I have been asked a few times for some good books on the subject of Aspergers, really with the view to helping us mums and the child. A great book I have found easy to read (not full of medical terms!) is “Parenting your Aspergers child” by Alan Sohn and Cathy Grayson.
It’s a book that walks you through diagnosis. Gives you insight into Aspergers from what the child may be going through, to helpful advice on who to see to help your child. This book helps you see the complexity of Aspergers. Allows you to help some of the professionals ( teachers, doctors) to have better understanding of this complexed condition.
Order today through our web site www.expatsavings.eu Click on “Holiday essentials, on the top of that page is Waterstone, click then type in the name of book and order. When you have the list up there are a few other books there for you to consider. Hope that helps.
I will in a few days pop up some books that help siblings and friends of your child! I found these helped my daughter a lot and we also found them good for her friends to have better understanding of our home and family. They have also help the “sitter”! We have to help not only the child but all the people around the child.

Kids and the net!

So the holidays are coming! You know that some of you out there are allowing children to use the net but how safe is it? What do they use? While not wising to ruin their fun how can you see what is safe?
Some tips I use are: Check it out! Look at what they are using. Sit with them and see if that site is ok. Book mark the ones that are fine. Most site that are games have age restrictions for a reason!
Teach your child that they should log out if in doubt! Talk about what they do on line. A lot of parents don't and so we get lost in what they are doing! Make an agreement, time on line, what they can do and then stick to it. If possible have the computer in a part of the house that is not too private, that way they are not tempted off the "safe" sites and you can check more easily. Chat about what they are doing, keep the communication open. Once at the beginning of the holidays is not enough. Report miss use by others to the Internet service provider. We would not allow our children to wander in adult only areas of our city's or visit pedophiles! So come on a little work in this field goes a long way. Keep it safe for your child, visit sites they have used ( you only have to look at the history bar) Teach them safety on the net. Then you and the child can see some wonderful thing on line.

Small, free things that help with holiday time!

Well like most parents the thought of the holidays brings good and bad. The bad can be the sorting out the child care for the holidays, working while your children are home. The extra bills of day trips, treats, holidays.
So here is a few tips that can really help. Check with friends if you can share the child care, that way you have no extra bills for child care. The children then have a friend over to play on that day or they are at a friends house for some days.
Do a "swap" with friends on videos, DVDs, games and toys. That way you save money and the children play, watch new to them things. No cost for you either! Please help each other by writing down what you have borrowed and when it has to be returned!
Plan for a few trips out that are free or next to no cost. Check your library for reading days specials, see if the local museum has special days for children in the holiday. Get a group of you to do a "Teddy Bear's picnic" in a local park. All these things can be cheap and great fun.
Ask around if any of you have a talent, face painting, cooking, story telling these offer group fun and lovely stops in the long holiday.
So plan a little helps. Talk to others in the same situation you will be happy with what can happen.

Planing to help your child!

Planing is the key to helping your child with change. Well I say that but it does boil down to having the time to do this, life often throws changes at short notice!
Things that help can be a simple day counter for the child to tick off as the count down. I have found rather than hide the fact that the doctors or dentist visit is coming up (which my child hates!) we have it on the planner and just don't get into a decision on the subject. We except that the appointment is there and that they are not looking forward to it. You see thats life we all have things we don't want to do. I have found that far from it building up to big upsets its put the "problem" into size! Way worse was the way that I used to drop it in on the morning of the appointment, then all hell would break lose. An other way I use this is the count down to a holiday with paper next to the count down to allow picture or words of the things that they need / want to take. This has worked really well and given my child the freedom to not worry that they haven't packed some thing that is impotent to them. Hope that help.

Tip for new school worries!

A great tip for you out there if your child is at all worried about their new school or if they have aspergers is to ask the new school for you to take photos of the school, class, coat-room, teacher and any thing else that helps your child. Put it together in a small photo album to get out and chat about over that long summer holiday. Time travels differently for children. Also useful is to help your child by meeting up with mums and children that will be in their new school/ class over the holiday. That way it will not be all new when they get there. I also found it helpful to walk the new route in the holiday with out the cars and children of the new term.
My son needed photos of the school toilets as well! I have to say it helped a great deal with his worries over the new school.

Aspergers help in 10 minutes!

Well my son is a little off color today and that means he's not his normal inventing self! While it gives me a break I find I miss the inventions!
A big help with my son has to be the "10 minutes" a day idea. This is where in that 10 Min's you do not offer advise, or help but allow him/her to play/ say what ever is going on in that time (that means no judging!) They call the shoots and you have to fit into what they want to do. This little bit of time allows there self esteem to grow and it builds in you knowledge and skills of your child. This is great as each child is unique! that can get forgotten when you have to deal with schools, home life! other children. The time builds up daily and at first the 10 minutes can feel long but once you both settle to the rules you see growth in both of you.The rules need to be kept as well so no going over the time that you set! How many of us have to spend all our time "fighting" for the child and forgetting to enjoy that same child.

Autism help

One thing I have been asked for is tips on things that help you child with autism to be able know where there things are. This sound really odd but it has helped so much I'm passing the tip on!

Use electrical tape to mark off a square on the floor to help your child to know where their shoes are. This helps a lot as the shoes are always there and they learn to expect them there and the soon learn to put them there. Great in the morning when you have to be quick!

I have found this tip works really well for placing toys as well. We found that with my son he would tip all his toys over the floor, not being able to think of this as a mess or of sharing "play space" with others. The up shot was rows so we used this tip (making it a larger square as needed) to our wonder it worked! in fact he then had to keep his toys in the box even when playing!

I have also know this tip to work in the school for sitting on the floor in the hall and reading corner. The child then understands with the physical prompt what is expected of them Also great for children with ADHD as the lose mat can just slide around with the child!

We hello out there!
It's been a while but the steady flow of visitors has got to a level that I can now think of other thing. While it's been great to see people from England you get to a point that you want to just have your house and time for yourself. I think I have done enough sight seeing of the same things for this year! Whats new to your visitor is not new to you! I had got to the point where if I had one more day trip I think I could do the guides job better than her. Now don't get me wrong I love what Turkey has to offer and the meals out have been of great quality but I started to miss the cooking on a budget. My sons home ed. had started to look like a joke and I just wasn't keeping up. Roll on August as he can then join an on line school. I think that now we have visitors in June / July/ August!! so I think I have to be recharged by then.
I said I would keep you all posted on my son and the changes in him with his aspergers and living here.WOW! he has improved so much more than I thought possible. He's not so stressed, the pace of live here is slower. He's not at all violent, even when on our medical they took blood, they tried to take his blood form his arm and it didn't work!!!!! So he allowed them to take it from his hand! WOW that hurt. We have a Turkish lady that has two days a week with him so he can pick up Turkish and we have time with out him, this is not too bad and at the moment he is coping with her. He is slightly allowing change to his menu and he loves eating out! At one restaurant we us a lot they see him coming down the road and get his bowl of rice ready for when hes there, which is a great laugh and he feels well love and important! People are just kinder and he fits in.

Difrent family values!

Well life in Turkey is beginning to come together. I have now a helper for my son two days a week. My partner's boys have been to stay for two weeks, now all important family have been over to see us!
I have to say that the dimensions of family are strangely highlighted here due to the fact that we see them in a "block" of time rather than bits of time. This is good in some ways but has been hard in others. By the time you get it all settled they are off back to the UK, leaving me some what tired. You see you cannot change history, so your partner treats his children the way he has and will always, there is such a difference in how we do parent I am glad that we haven't tried together! I am "soft" and properly a left over hippie, where as my partner is firm, non bending but fair. There are thoughts on both sides of these extreme parenting skills that are good and valued but there are also the thought that the other side is wrong! How we get on must be a miracle!! but we do and with great love. I have no problem with my child being sexually active where as my partner has no wish to know of his children's levels of activity! I have to say I am just there if they want to talk and it is not a taboo subject! I love people for who they are (warts and all!) My partner sets a standard and feels disappointment if they are unable to reach it. So we have had a few weeks of very different thinking in the house!
Well in one week we have my daughter and her boyfriend over,WOW wonder what that will bring us! Its a great thing we talk so well.

Nursery link to poor behaviour!

Well here is some news I think a lot of people thought was true but it has been backed up with a report done by the Government. Children who spend more than three days a week in nurseries are more likely to become anti-social worried and upset. They have shown that children were more likely to behave poorly the longer they spent in care. Though the report also says that 30 hours in care increased the child's confidence.
The report also shows that the amount of months a child attended the nursery had an impact on that child's behavior. So children who had attended for 18 months or more where rated with more anti-social behavior.
The report was carried out on 800 children in disadvantaged areas.
The moral for me is to check out your Nurseries, and ask what behavior policies are there and how they work. Check the qualification levels of the staff. Always look for more than the required amount! What child/ staff ratio is there. Again you are looking for the best not just the required level. What level of feed back will you expect to get from the Nursery. And the big thing do you feel happy with them!
Some times we shy away from asking difficult questions but when you are looking at the whole development of that very special child you have to ask, if not for you but the future of your child.

Clooney news

Well if you needed to know that that sexy man has a heart as well, he was seen at a childrens lemonade stand near the GE Movie set!
The lovely man not only bought lemonade from the children , paying $20 for a glass of their lemonade but chatted to the children and posed for photos as well.
He was offered the drink for free but big hearted him paid more than 25 cents that they asked for. The kids desided to cash in on the fact that they had a star at their stand put up a new poster saying " George Clooney was here!" What a great start to the childrens Easter holiday!

teachers have more power!

Teachers have a new legal power to help in the classroom. This will allow them to restrain and discipline unruly pupils, this came in on the st April. In the past teachers could restrain under common law, the same as parents. This how ever lead to the culture "you can't touch me!" in so many children. The new law explicitly states that teachers have the right to remove physically. Teachers can now impose detention outside of school hours and even on Saturdays! While I am glad that this has come in the 2006 Education and Inspections Act I wonder how this can be enforced? Teachers are asked to do so much more these days ,are they going to work Saturdays too? The teacher can now discipline pupils outside of school hours, so if they see badly behaved school pupils on their way home they can discipline them. I have to say that for me while I am glad that the powers to be have given much needed power back to the teacher, it feels like they want the poor teacher to sort out the whole problem! What about the parents, communities as a whole? local police ? the children themselves? I wonder if in reality this is an empty act as to enforce this the teacher becomes the local police!

Truancy and home education

Newly released data has shown a rise in truancy by 18% this is using a new way of counting absences. This is higher in secondary schools. Allegedly there are authorities, that are in there bid to lower there level of truancy are handing out “home education forms” to the families and communities of high offenders. These are communities like travellers. There is no hard evidence to prove this point. But it was believed that they are handing out pre-typed de-registration letters so that parents/ careers will be left alone.
Home education charity Education Otherwise feels that it gives home education a bad name and makes home education stats wrong.
I have to say a few years ago my son who has Aspergers and ADHD was permanently excluded from his local school. This left a gap where the services to cope with his education was not available. We did manage to get three hours a week home education supplied by the local authority after about four months wait. My point is there is not the resources for the services to offer full support to the children who drop out of the normal school system, there are fines and prison sentences for parents who do not educate their children, and believe me some of those children run out the minute you get them to the school! So if you get offered a way out you’re going to take it. The end of the day it is about education, not truancy rates that the government sees. It is harder to fight the system with difficult child. Home education is hard work, I know, I now home Ed my son but its right for him. Stop looking at numbers and start doing, there are a lot of children out there that need help with their education. Have things in place to identify early on the children in need of help, prevention is better than cure!

Teletubbies birthday!

I was shocked to find a news item on how the Teletubies are 10 years old this year! I remember that when they first started that my kids where not that bothered as they where a little old for it . I how ever loved them! At one point becoming a secrete watcher, there sweet humor, and love of the world of children! I thought that the screen on the tummy was great and the way they played the small story twice, what a great idea! Teletubbies have been seen with the "A list" people like Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie has been seen shopping for their stuff.
My sister hated them saying that they where giving kids subliminal messages! I think that says more about her mind!
So the BBC are doing a gift box two disc collection of the best ten shows. These sweet tubbies have now been shown in 120 countries! that is going some.
Well I wish them a big happy birthday and well done to those actors who hid in those costume's thats one job I would not apply for.

funny AND true

By PHIL DAVIS

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Lawrence Roach agreed to pay alimony to the woman he divorced, not the man she became after a sex change, his lawyers argued Tuesday in an effort to end the payments. But the ex-wife's attorneys said the operation doesn't alter the agreement.
The lawyers and Circuit Judge Jack R. St. Arnold agreed the case delves into relatively unchartered legal territory. They found only a 2004 Ohio case that addressed whether or not a transsexual could still collect alimony after a sex change.
"There is not a lot out there to help us," St. Arnold said.
Roach and his wife, Julia, divorced in 2004 after 18 years of marriage. The 48-year-old utility worker agreed to pay her $1,250 a month in alimony. Since then, Julia Roach, 55, had a sex change and legally changed her name to Julio Roberto Silverwolf.
"It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man," Roach's attorney John McGuire said. "When she changed to man, I believe she terminated that alimony."
Silverwolf did not appear in court Tuesday and has declined to talk about the divorce. His lawyer, Gregory Nevins, said the language of the divorce decree is clear and firm - Roach agreed to pay alimony until his ex-wife dies or remarries.
"Those two things haven't happened," said Nevins, a senior staff attorney with the national gay rights group Lambda Legal.
Arnold is considering the arguments. But lawyers on both sides agreed Tuesday that Roach will likely have to keep paying alimony to Silverwolf.
The judge poked holes in several of Roach's legal arguments and noted that appeals courts have declined to legally recognize a sex change in Florida when it comes to marriage. The appellate court "is telling us you are what you are when you are born," Arnold said.
In the Ohio case, an appeals court ruled in September 2004 that a Montgomery County man must continue to pay $750 a month in alimony to his transsexual ex-wife because her sex change wasn't reason enough to violate the agreement.
Roach's other attorney, John Smitten, said the case falls into a legal void.
"It's probably something that has to be addressed by the Legislature," Smitten said. "There is one other case in the entire United States. It really needs to be addressed either for or against the concept of eliminating alimony for that reason."
Roach, who has since remarried, said has been unable to convince state and federal lawmakers to tackle the issue. He said he will continue to fight.
"This is definitely wrong. I have a right to move forward with my life. I wish no harm and hardship to that person," Roach said of his ex-wife. "They can be the person they want to be, to find happiness and peace within themselves. I have the right to do the same. But I can't rest because I'm paying a lot of money every month."
The legal fight is the second transsexual rights showdown in Pinellas County in less than a week. On Friday, transsexual activists from around the country packed a City Commission meeting in neighboring Largo to oppose the firing of City Manager Steve Stanton after he announced he was a transsexual.
Despite the support, commissioners voted 5-2 to fire Stanton.
I have to say poor man! The old husband I mean! Kind of hard to have to pay a man house keeping till he dies! Now his ex is unlikely to remarry then all he can do is hope for an early death! Not a good way to think.

crazy car

Green race car with a difference
Ben Wood is studying for his Engineering Doctorate at WMG
Researchers based at a university have created an environmentally-friendly race car with tyres made from potatoes and brake pads from cashew nut shells.
Eco One is the idea of WMG, a provider of innovative solutions to industry based at the University of Warwick.
The car was designed originally with a top speed of 125mph (201km/h).
It will be at the Sexy Green Car Show alongside green offerings from major names in the motor industry at the Eden Project in Cornwall from Friday.
'Recyclable materials'
The car also runs entirely on bio-fuels and bio-lubricants.
Project manager Ben Wood said he has tweaked the original engine and claims he can achieve up to 150mph (241km/h) given a long straight and a tailwind.
He said: "Almost everything on the car can be made out of biodegradable or recyclable materials.
"All the plastic components can be made from plants and, although the chassis has to be made from steel for strength, steel is a very recyclable material.
"We already have the shell, brake pads, fuel and tyres sorted.
"My aim is to end up with a race car that's 95 per cent biodegradable or recyclable.
"If we can build a high-performance car that can virtually be grown from seed, just imagine what's possible for the average family car."
I found this on the BBC web site. I want one! does it mean that when I hit the curb I plant more "Green Belt"! and if it rains does this car grow??I think I will keep all my kitchen waste just so I can fuel it!

Jane Austen

Austen 'too ugly' for book cover
The book cover shows Austen without her night-cap
Novelist Jane Austen has been given a makeover for the cover of a book about her life after publishers decided an original image of her was unattractive.
"She was not much of a looker," said Helen Trayler, managing director of publisher Wordsworth Editions.
Publishers traditionally use a portrait of Austen painted by her sister but Wordsworth have added make-up, hair extensions and removed her night-cap.
The book is a new edition of a memoir by Austen's nephew.
The book cover was adapted from this portrait housed at the National Portrait Gallery
"I know you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover. Sadly people do. If you look more attractive, you just stand out more," said Ms Trayler.
The original painting by Cassandra Austen, which hangs in the National Portrait Gallery in London, is thought by some scholars to be the only authentic portrait of the celebrated author.
But another portrait said to be of Austen is going up for auction at Christie's in New York on 19 April and is expected to fetch between $400,000 (£203,000) and $800,000 (£406,000).


I found this story on the BBC News web site(25.03.07). I have to say I think it is really sad that they have decided to change her looks just for the “sale “. The point is her work, not her looks and people would buy on that alone, not on a made up picture just to please our “image” clean times, if she had a facial disfigurement would we change that too?

Ten commandments of mother earth

*THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MOTHER EARTH*
I. Thou shalt love and honour the Earth for it blesses thy life and governs thy survival. II. Thou shalt keep each day sacred to the Earth and celebrate the turning of its seasons. III. Thou shalt not hold thyself above other living things nor drive them to extinction. IV. Thou shalt give thanks for thy food, to the creatures and plants that nourish thee. V. Thou shalt educate thy offspring for multitudes of people are a blessing unto the Earth when we live in harmony. VI. Thou shall not kill, nor waste Earth's riches upon weapons of war. VII. Thou shalt not pursue profit at the Earth's expense but strive to restore its damaged majesty. VIII. Thou shalt not hide from thyself or others the consequences of thy actions upon the Earth. IX. Thou shalt not steal from future generations by impoverishing or poisoning the Earth. X. Thou shalt consume material goods in moderation so all may share the Earth's bounty.

I found this on my friends site and thought that they are great so wanted to share with all of you! I will try to keep them, if each of us does some thing its better than a whole lot of nothing!.

Well on the family front my daughter has had some money from me! I did give in but only today so I thought that was an improvement. I will see her in five weeks and then we talk about what she should do with her life! I've sent her some jobs that where advertised on line (so why then can she not see them!) and hope to build up her trying on the job front.
We have manage to sort out some great insurance for the children and friends that visit us . We found a great deal so take a look at it on our web site. www.expatsavings.eu

teens today

Well I've talked to my daughter a lot this week, what due to her boyfriends dad hitting the roof over his son but it turning into a frightening verbal, physical attack on her young man! Sarah has sadly grown up with the more violence in the home than the average, due to her brother having such a bad phase of blowing his top and the grabbing a knife and going for the person that dared to say "No". This resulted in all knifes, forks and any thing with a sharp edge being locked in the garage! and eating was a hard time. So she had it hard. I have to say that she knew it was due to his disability and that he saw all sorts of "head" people to help with it , so it came as a shock to her that a "normal" adult man can just go like a toddler on coffee!
Then I get text for more money due to the fact she has gone over drawn at her bank!!!!! Like my wonderful partner says "You can be mad but we both know that by Monday you will bail her out!" Oh how true! I try not to help on these things as how is she to learn, but then I think "mother guilt" and the money slides over to her account. Well we shall see how long I can hold out! I think due to seeing it head on I'll try not to help her, keep you posted, us sad guilt riddled mothers.

So for the work from home front I have started to do some research on the subject. I have set myself to finding information that is free on line where on so many sites you have to pay for the information. With this I hope to turn the information into a workable format first to get income for me then second for yourself. There is so much free information out there! So its a question of sorting through it all and then doing what it says. If it works then great if not I try again.
How many of you have tried this? what have you found? drop me a line and let me know. The question is what are you (or me) looking for from on line work. Yes money but it has to be a work balance. Anyone out there let me know if you have tried this approach.

jobs on line

As a mum I found working hard to balance with my home life so I've decided to test out some on line jobs. I will keep my blog up dated with my progress!
I like most of you am sick of on line scams that say you will make money. Now do not get me wrong I like you want to make money and work from home so I thought I would explore the possibilities and keep you posted so you don't have to do the same work as me. All I want is a real work at home job that brings in money to meet the bills extra would be fantastic. If you know of one that works let me know and I can tell the world on here. There are too many false promises out there and to have a area to help people to the right ones that have clear" what you get" for what is the aim! Wish me well as I go off for the hunting of real work on line.

Dreams

Well I have to say that for me dreams are very powerful. I have no idea if it is a subconscious way of working through problems or just a made up world that we enter at night. I can say that some nights they are so over whelming I need a few hours just to get over the dreams and ground myself in the reality of the day!
Am I alone in this or does the whole world have vivid dreams? My partner says he doesn't dream much and it has no affect on him. Why then do I dream dreams that are so real and can be so emotional I need time to recover! I have to say my dreams are not all bad by along way, just vivid. Some dreams you can tell are just yourself playing out options to your own life. Some are learning curves but some are just so complexed they leave me breathless. Oh and I don't mean they are sexual, mostly not(that could be an age thing!) but vivid. Yes I feel they are in color. Yes I feel that they have meanings just I am unable to always tap into the meanings.
Let me know if anyone else has dreams that mean something. I have read books on dreams and some of it I can see but other bits just do not fit. Well I feel I have recovered enough for today. Oh and I haven't been drinking the night before, or eaten cheese or chocolate, so not food related.

I forgot my daughter!

On my profile I forgot my daughter, yet another thing due to chatting about her disabled brother! I find that children who have siblings that are ill long term or have disabled siblings do get half the normal attention than regular families. I have had to be looking after the one that will stab you if you turn your back! To spend hours outside his bedroom door to keep him in his room, on the nights I had the energy and The will to fight him! She had to go to bed hearing the screaming and shouting, not getting involved ,creping quietly through the house to not upset him. Wow she had a hard life. I'm told by her that she really did'nt mind, and for her it was home and how it was ,but as a mum I know she was not given what she should have been given, my time.I can get down about this and say it really was'nt fair to her, or if my ex had helped more then it could have been easier on her, all of which I can't change. My daughter learnt early that life is unfair.

This is it!!

Well here is to a great new blogging person......ME
Ive thought about this for a while and even started to read others to get ideas! Then it hit me, I am the only me there for what I write has to be what I think, which is a whole lot.
Ive moved countrys (well I never did things by halfs!) Got sick of the rat race that I would never find what I want so throw it all in for a new idea, an that includes blogging. Now most peole donot need to move countrys to blo but for me it was the excuss for w new way of life and to keep touch with anyone who wants to know what Im doing when.